And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
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she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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