You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize