.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
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I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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