I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize