broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize