when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize