I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize