Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize