oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize