His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
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Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
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It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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