She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize