Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize