I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize