if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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