maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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