Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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