Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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