the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize