I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
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I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
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i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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