she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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