how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize