If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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