Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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