I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
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Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize