Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
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Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
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no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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