Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
These tits shall not be calmed
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