I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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