You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
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i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
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I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
In other news, I just burned my penis
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
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