I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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