That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
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Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize