I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
we're so committed to being not committed
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