Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize