hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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