This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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