I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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