i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize