so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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