u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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