Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize