I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
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for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
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"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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