Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
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If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
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Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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