she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize