Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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