I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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