I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize