Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize