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a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We have started to decorate penises.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
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