i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize