Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize