official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
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I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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