so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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